so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
