he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
