Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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