Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
