his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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