So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
