so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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