So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
