shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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