im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
