ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
