Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
