I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
