We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Enjoy the penises
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
