I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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