dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize