Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I have demons in me.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
