i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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