walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
