that's an acceptable place to lick
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize