just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize