I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
