Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
