cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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