fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize