She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
