hotel room ftw
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
