just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
