And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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