nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
