Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize