Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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