this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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