i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
