I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
