Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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