The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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