end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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