is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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