I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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