I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
