The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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