he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
