Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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