I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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