Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
