I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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