ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize