i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
