Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
