Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
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