dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
