I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
