i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize