you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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