Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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