Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
