i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize