woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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