my mouth tastes like poor choices
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
