Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
