I smell stomach acid.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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