CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
