How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
