As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
