he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
