You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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