Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
