How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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