Nicole vs. Life
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
