There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize