I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize