My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
