seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
