yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We have so much sex to catch up on
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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